Shattered
by E.J.14
Summary: After Jane was shot by Dr.Doom, Loki rushed her to Asgard to be healed by Odin. But what if these wounds were beyond the All-father's abilities? What if Jane couldn't be saved? An alternate ending to Alydia Rackham's "Fallen Star".


** Like Alydia Rackham's fan fiction "Shard" this ventures off into an alternate ending in her Lokane universe. It is a **_**very**_** different ending to "Fallen Star", once again demonstrating another fragment in the brokenness of the universe.**

**Alydia Rackham has Okayed that this goes up, and I give all the credit to her for creating such a fantastic universe of Lokane.**

Shattered

_There's no chance for us_

_It's all decided for us_

_This world has only one sweet moment_

_Set aside for us_

_-Who Wants to Live Forever_

_Queen_

**Excerpt from Fallen Star:**

"Thor's eyes traced Jane's breathtakingly beautiful, pale, still face—her long eyelashes, soft features, graceful nose and mouth. She was kept decent by soft white blankets, but her arms and shoulders were bare, and her belly was exposed. Her belly, which gleamed with blood.

Odin sat on the mattress near Jane's right hand, still wearing his flowing night clothes. His rugged hand rested on her abdomen, in the midst of her wounds, his eye was closed, and his white head interrupted the sunlight that streamed in, giving him a shimmering halo.

Thor could not move or swallow or even blink. It was not until his father moved—glanced up and past Eir—that Thor realized there was one more person in the room.

A tall, lean form waited in the shadows exactly opposite Thor, stood near a pillar. His face looked white, dotted with bruises; his black hair was mussed, his emerald eyes stark—and his dark clothes and pale hands were covered in blood.

It was Loki.

And he was looking down at Jane. Looking at her with an unwavering, bright, intense gaze, deep lines of tension between his raven eyebrows.

He was looking at her in a way Thor had never seen before. As if he…

Odin reached out his left hand, palm up. One of the healers stepped up and handed him a clean, wet rag. Odin moved his right hand and began wiping away the blood from Jane's skin…"

* * *

The skin was smooth, clean, unblemished

But something was wrong.

Although she appeared to be healed, Odin did not seem any happier. He seemed…sad.

As though he'd…_failed_.

This could not be.

Odin had to heal Jane, he _had _to. Even if Jane could never be Loki's, the idea of a universe without her was too appalling, too monstrous to even begin to comprehend.

Loki's thoughts were interrupted by Thor's questioning.

"How goes it Father? Will she live?" Thor asked, impudent as always, but Loki could find no fault here, had he been by Jane's bedside instead of Thor, he would have asked as well. Now he could only wait for the answer, hopeful that he was wrong in his reading of Odin's body language, and yet knowing with a sickening certainty that he was right.

Loki may have made some mistakes before in reading another person, but he did not now. He could only watch as Odin turned to Thor, placing a hand on his shoulder. The All-Father opened his eye, and Loki's heart dropped.

He _was_ right.

The answer Loki sought was plain to see in the sorrow and weariness that lined Odin's face, in the gentle grip on Thor's shoulder, in the dull look to his normally bright, blue eye. It was that of a warrior who'd seen too many battles, and that of a King who'd seen too many good people die before their time.

"I have healed the some of the wounds, but these mortal weapons tore her deeply, in ways that even I cannot fully understand or set right." Thor's face was a mix of shock and growing pain. Odin sighed, every year of his age coming through.

"But Father…she must live! Jane can't-"Thor's voice caught in his throat, and he turned back to Jane's small form. "Jane can't die." Odin looked at her as well, and Loki caught the gleam of a tear trailing down his cheek.

"It was her time long before now, but your brother's magic kept her heart beating. Once the power of the stone he gave her runs out, any healing I have completed will become undone." The All-Father turned towards Loki's hiding spot, his movement unseen by Thor, who was lost in his own confusion and mourning.

"I am so sorry, my son." Loki realized that this was directed at him, and even though he was as lost as Thor, he somehow found himself nodding to Odin, who met Loki's gaze a moment longer, then bowed his head, and exited the healing rooms.

After he left, there was only silence, broken by Jane's harsh, rattling breath. Her lungs were screaming for her to stop, but somehow she managed to push on.

Thor sat beside her bed. Never has the future King of Asgard looked so un-princely.

His normally tall, imposing form was slouched in a chair, one curled hand supported his head, the other gently clasped Jane's hand. Thor's eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Loki could only think of one other time where he'd looked so defeated.

When he'd lied to Thor about Odin's death.

That was all it had been, a lie.

This, however, was real.

Jane's skin had lost its normally healthy glow, it had gone deathly pale, and her sleep was restless. Sweat had broken out on her forehead as she battled for her life, and her hair was plastered to her cheeks.

With each passing minute, she grew weaker; the stone on her chest grew weaker, and with every passing second, darkness threatened to close in on Loki. He fought this encroaching night, but knew that once Jane was gone, he would drown in it.

Suddenly Thor shifted, and strength showed once more in his brother's tired face. He sat up, reached up to Jane's forehead and readjusted the wet towel placed there, showing a care that Loki thought his brother incapable of.

"You must fight Jane. I can't lose you." Never had Loki heard his brother's voice been softer, or gentler.

Jane fidgeted in her sleep, but she did not wake up, and Thor pulled away, placing his head in his hands once more.

Although Loki was silently urging Jane on as well, something gnawed away at him, exposing the cold, bitter truth, a truth he'd rather deny.

Merely fighting…

Wouldn't-

Be-

Enough.

Even worse, was the idea that it was _his_ fault. He'd led Jane into that death trap, and hadn't protected her.

Guilt now mingled with all of the pain in his heart.

And with this thought, Loki's world closed in, blackness consuming everything but one point of light in the entire universe, blocking out everything but Jane.

* * *

Day faded into evening, and both Thor and Loki had been shooed from the room while Eir changed Jane's clothes to cleaner ones, and changed her sheets to new ones.

They stood next to one another, across from the doors, and yet, these two had never been farther apart.

They'd conquered armies together, saved each other's lives countless times, had laughed and played together, and still there was tension as thick as ice in the air that was already heavy with sorrow.

But despite the fact that there were many unspoken things deepening the rift between them, there was something holding them together.

Jane Foster.

She, who had found them when they were weak, and had saved them from themselves, would be lost to them forever.

"Loki?" Thor spoke, causing Loki to jump, as he was abruptly pulled from his train of thought. He turned to face those wide, blue eyes, searching for the solution to his brother's questioning tone.

Thor waited for a reply, realized none would come, and took a deep breath before carrying on. "Loki…there is much that we cannot undo. There is much more separating us than even I thought possible." Loki was slowly beginning to ice over, trying to numb the fresh wave of pain.

How could Thor, his brother, speak of this when Jane's life hung by a very, _very _delicate thread that sat over an open flame?

"I know. I will leave once she is…" Loki turned back towards the door, watching as two healers carried out the bloody sheets.

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, and Loki turned in surprise to face his brother once more. Thor had a weak smile on his face, one punctured by sadness.

"I was not finished, brother. Yes, there are wrongs between us, but not all of them are on your name. We both have made mistakes."

Brother. Thor had called him brother. Loki felt the ice wall that he had carefully been rebuilding begin to crack.

"You brought Jane here, when you could have left her. It is your magic that lets her breathe now, and for all the mountain crushing might of Mjollnir, I could not give her that. Nothing could mean more to me." It was as though Loki was being taught to soar, and then yanked from the sky. Thor's words brought a bittersweet taste to his tongue, and they brought both joy and loathing into his heart.

Although his brother meant to bring him joy, he was only reminding him that Jane was not his to love.

But Thor was not done yet. "Although you may have forgotten it, I am your brother. For as long as the east stands across from the west, I will be your brother." There was another moment of silence, and then Loki turned to the door.

He heard Thor sigh and return to his vigil as well. Loki reached up a hand to the chain that hung around his neck. "I have not forgotten Thor." He whispered softly, remembering when he had been given this. "I have never forgotten." He didn't turn to face Thor, but he knew that there was a small smile on his brother's lips, as Thor remembered that same night.

Eir stepped out, and both of them took a stride forward. Her head was low, and there was a deep-rooted grief in her eyes. She looked at them, and straightened, becoming the proud woman that Loki had known in his youth.

"How is she?" Thor asked, and Eir's eyes once again dulled.

"Go to her, my Prince. I fear that she may not have much time."

Almost instantly Thor rushed into the room, while Loki followed behind. Eir stopped him, looking into his eyes. "I am sorry, Loki." He nodded, blinking back tears, and heading into the room.

"As am I."

* * *

Evening became night, and a hush settled over Asgard. Thor had returned to Jane's bedside, and Loki still stood in the shadows, watching as Jane's condition steadily worsened.

Eir had cleaned her, exchanging her bloodied clothes for a white gown, smoothing down her hair and lowering the fever, and easing her breathing. Jane looked as beautiful as ever, save for the deathly pallor to her skin. An air of mourning had settled like a thick fog, hanging in the room, and creating an eerie stillness and silence.

There was movement in the door way, and Sif entered, immediately taking in the entire scene. She moved to Thor's side, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Come, Thor. There is nothing you can do but mourn here." Thor looked up at her, and Loki could see that he sought comfort in her eyes.

"I cannot leave her here alone." She looked up to Loki.

"I will watch her, brother. Lady Sif is right, you need some rest." Thor shook his head, then pushed his way to his feet, giving a last glace at Jane.

He bent over, and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I will come back to you, Jane Foster." Only Loki noticed Sif's wince, as she turned and followed Thor out of the room.

Loki moved to Jane's side, carefully taking one of her hands within his own, as not to disturb her. He shut his eyes, and willed any power that he had into her, willed her to _live_. The magic danced down his arm…

And died on Jane's skin.

Odin had been right.

The only thing keeping her alive was his stone, which glowed faintly in the flickering torchlight.

Loki didn't turn to look at her stomach, at her wounds.

The wounds from that gun, two well aimed shots, had been far too destructive; no magic could save Jane now.

Even with all of his power, he couldn't save her.

Jane was going to die.

He shut his eyes, letting tears run once more, allowing them to drip onto her soft hand.

Jane gasped, shooting upwards into a sitting position, causing Loki to jump backwards, into the shadows once more.

She searched the room blindly, her usually bright brown eyes deadened with fever. Loki almost stepped forward to calm her, when she asked, "Thor? Are you here?"

Thor was gone.

She wanted his brother, not him.

Envy clawed at his soul.

But as he watched Jane's delicate face search the room, he knew that he could never deny her what she wished for, especially not now.

With a heavy heart, Loki realized that these could be her last waking moments.

He would give her happiness, at the cost of his own.

He would give her Thor.

Loki used his magic to mask himself, and when he stepped into the light, Jane smiled.

"Thor." This was said with soft reassurance. Loki moved to her side, settling into the chair and taking her hands.

"I'm here, Jane. You must rest, keep your strength." Another voice came from his lips, a strange, foreign, sound. It was his brother's, not his own. Before he could truly regret hiding himself from her once again, Jane let out a weak smile, and lay back down on the pillows.

"Your home is beautiful, at least, what I can see of it." Her own voice was tired, soft, and every word broke Loki's heart a little more.

Soon, there would be nothing left to break.

"Jane Foster, you must fight with all of your strength, and then I will show you all of Asgard. I will take you anywhere and everywhere in the nine realms, but you must live!" Her grip on his hand tightened for an instant, and she gave him a questioning look.

"You don't sound like yourself today." Loki faintly smiled.

"You have changed me, Jane. Promise me you'll fight, and I promise you that you will know the beauty of each and every star, of every nook and cranny of Asgard, of every distant forest and ocean on every one of the nine realms." Jane's look grew distant.

"I do not think that I am the one doing the fighting." Her free hand ventured up to the stone that hung around her neck. "And I think we both know who is." She returned to him, with a sad, knowing smile.

Loki's grip on her hand became tighter. "Jane, you must live. You _have _to live. I can't do this without you." Once again another voice came from his mouth. Jane shut her eyes.

"Thor, I need to tell you something. I need you to promise me something." Loki nodded.

"Anything Jane." She tried to take a deep breath, failed, and then continued.

"Your brother, Loki, this wasn't his fault. He never meant for me to get hurt." Loki had frozen, looking down at Jane. Her hands grasped his with wild desperation. "Promise me that you'll forgive him. He never meant to hurt you, or anyone else." Her voice was soft, as though she was growing weaker. The glow of the Lokistone at her chest began to grow.

Jane was still trying to save him when she couldn't save herself.

"I...I promise Jane." The crease in her brow unknotted itself, and Jane relaxed once more. For a moment there was peace, when another thought crossed Jane's mind, and she sat up once again.

"There's another thing I need you to tell him. I need you to tell Loki that I'm sorry." At this a dry laugh escaped from his lips.

"What for? He is the one who deceived you." Jane's frown deepened.

"He didn't have much of a choice. If he'd told me who he was before, I would never have even given him a chance." Loki felt himself become overwhelmed by his love for her, before sorrow consumed him once again.

"You are a forgiving woman, Jane Foster. No man, God or mortal, is worthy of you." Jane smiled, her blushing cheeks showing just how pale her skin really was.

"I love you Thor." Ice pierced Loki's heart as she closed her eyes, leaning towards him, asking for a kiss. Her last. Ever.

Loki met her lips with his own, and in that instant all illusions were forgotten.

His hand curled around her, gently supporting her neck and he felt as though there was nothing else in the universe but the two of them, right here, right now. He felt as though a missing part of his soul had finally returned, making his heart whole.

Loki shut his eyes, and the second he did, he saw it. He saw _everything_.

Jane, in a wedding gown of intricate patterns and still nothing compared to her own beauty, smiling up at _him_. She was walking towards _him_. This wasn't Jane and Thor's wedding, it was _theirs_. His and Jane's.

Another flash of a memory that would never be, Jane running to him, and he, Loki, clasping his arms around her, lifting her up, placing his lips against her throat, his tears mingling with her own.

The kiss deepened, and Loki saw a night amongst the stars as he pointed up to the sky, pointed out their marriage, and the pattern it had formed. The knot that held them together…it told of a…_child_?

Suddenly Jane pulled away, and Loki opened his eyes, staring down at her. She looked up at him with confusion.

"Loki?" She whispered quietly, reaching a frail hand up to rest on his face, her touch tender, inquisitive.

"It's you?" She asked, chocolate eyes searching for an answer. Loki couldn't reply, he could only gaze at her, frozen with the shock of what he had just seen.

Slowly her inquiring hand on his cheek unfroze him, and even as his eyes filled with tears he smiled down at her. The purple glow of the stone that rested on her chest grew even stronger, and in the back of his mind Loki realized her heart was struggling to keep beating. Her time had come.

"I love you. Until the stars fall down on Asgard, I will love you, Jane Foster." As though she'd just solved her greatest problem, a warm smile appeared, like she finally had found an answer she'd been searching for her entire life.

She nodded, and Loki felt as though he held the entire universe in his hands, as if nothing and no one could ever take away this moment, as though it would never end. For an instant, the weight that had settled over the room lifted, and Loki dared to hope.

And then reality brought him crashing back to Asgard, back to Jane's bedside, and back to the grief that he'd left behind.

The Lokistone's glow became blinding, and then it stopped glowing all together.

Jane's heart raced, and her breathing became rough, and unsteady as her eyes rolled blindly. Loki desperately willed his magic to save her, knowing that he should call for Eir, but unable to pull himself away from her. The hand that had, moments ago, caressed his cheek clung to his own.

"Jane, please, _please_, hold on."

Her frantic gasping stopped.

Jane's eyes opened.

Her grasp on his hand tightened.

"I…I love you." She whispered with a quiet conviction, a faint smile playing out on her lips.

Her eyes closed.

The hand that he held dropped to her side.

She took one last breath, and then took no more.

Jane was dead.

Loki pressed a shaking hand to her neck, already knowing what he would find, but still horrified when there was no pulse.

He grasped her shoulders. "Jane? Jane! Come back! Jane, please, don't leave me!"

There were shouts from the hall way, and in the door way appeared Odin and Thor, followed closely by Frigg, Eir, and Sif. No one moved towards Loki or Jane, they only watched in shocked silence.

Loki put his hand up to her face, pushing back her hair, lifting and cradling her head. The darkness that had been threatening to close in now did so. A great sob worked its way up through his chest, a cry of anguish and loss.

His eyes ran with tears; tears that even when he stopped crying, would run forever.

She was gone, vanished to a realm where he could not go, and lost to him forever.

The one person who'd understood him, accepted him, _saved_ him, was dead.

Loki leaned over her, placing his forehead on her own, and feeling like he'd glimpsed an eternity of happiness and love, had touched a realm of joy, had felt the untold pleasures that the universe could have brought, and had had it ripped away with Jane's dying breath.

Just like the glass horse that Thor had carelessly tossed so many years ago, that world had shattered the moment it had come within reach, never to be held again.

As Loki hunched over Jane's lifeless body he sobbed, despairing because he knew that he'd lost that realm and all of its glittering beauty in the instant that he'd realized that it had always been his-

No.

He'd lost that realm and all of its glittering beauty in the instant that he'd realized it had been his _and _Jane's, all along

Fin


End file.
